Communion is Not the Only Way to be Community
As an Episcopal priest I understand, in mind, body, and heart, the central nature of the Eucharist and the sharing of Jesus' body and blood in bread and wine. For the last five years, every Sunday (barring vacation), and countless times during the week, I have taken, blessed, broken, and shared bread and wine with other followers of Jesus. I have seen the difference it has made in the lives of the lonely, sick, dying, beginning anew, and weary from daily life. I also know what a difference it has made in my own life to be able to share with others in the simple act of blessing and breaking bread.
However, I also know what a difference my experience in the five years before my ordination made in my understanding of Eucharist and receiving Communion. For the last ten years I have been on a gluten, dairy, and soy free diet because of health problems. Celiac disease, lactose intolerance, poly cystic ovarian syndrome, all of which can be helped and/or managed by fasting from particular foods. Ten years ago when I started on my diet, gluten free food (not to mention gluten free plus free from dairy or soy) was not as readily available as it is today. I had to hunt down options in little health food stores and had to relearn everything I knew about baking and generally content myself with lunches of rice and peas and apples because that was all that was on the buffet menu that I could eat.
Ten years ago, churches which offered gluten free wafers were one in a thousand. As a college student looking to go to seminary and visiting different churches, I regularly had to fast from communion. Churches were not prepared to offer a different kind of bread, people were used to dipping bread in the common cup, I was unable to take communion. At first, even in my home parish, where both my mom and I needed gluten free wafers, they refused to offer them. Even when they did start offering them, receiving gluten free communion was iffy. Sometimes the priest forgot and mixed the gluten free wafers in with the regular wafers.
I have cried at the altar rail because I couldn't take communion. I have cried at the altar rail because someone remembered some rice crackers in the parish hall kitchen and ran to get them, bless them and gave one to me. Countless times I have lowered my head and raised my arms for a blessing, knowing that this was not a fast I chose, but it is one that I need. Even still today, despite being a priest, I find myself in situations where I am unable to take communion with my peers because no one brought a gluten free option and someone already stuck their bread in the wine. I have even served others communion while not being able to receive it, feeling confused and separated and forgotten.
The experience of not being able to take communion changes your understanding and your theology. Eucharist, communion, is not the only way for personal experiences of being in relationship with God. Communion is not the only way in which Christians are in community. It has definitely become a central part of the Episcopal way, but as we emphasize Communion, we forget so many other aspects of our relationship with God.
As the Episcopal Church grapples with the unintentional fast from Eucharist during the Coronavirus Pandemic, I offer my experience as simply a way to say there is more to our theology and our relationship with Jesus than through Communion. Yes, for many, this has been the vehicle for the last forty years. Perhaps this is a particularly good time for a fast then, so we can learn its true power and place in our theology. So that our understanding can be broadened to include the many other ways in which we are in personal and deep relationship with the Holy Trinity. So we can relearn what it really means to be the Church of God on earth.
Jesus never called Christians to a comfortable easy journey. Sometimes on the walk with Jesus, we have to give up things we really love in order to make way for God's will. I'm not saying God doesn't want us to not have Communion or that the Coronavirus is God's will. However, God can use any circumstances to help us grow and learn. Jesus walks with us through every situation, and as we walk through this fast from Communion, Jesus is walking with us too. Teaching us and opening our eyes, just as he did for the disciples on the road to Emmaus.
However, I also know what a difference my experience in the five years before my ordination made in my understanding of Eucharist and receiving Communion. For the last ten years I have been on a gluten, dairy, and soy free diet because of health problems. Celiac disease, lactose intolerance, poly cystic ovarian syndrome, all of which can be helped and/or managed by fasting from particular foods. Ten years ago when I started on my diet, gluten free food (not to mention gluten free plus free from dairy or soy) was not as readily available as it is today. I had to hunt down options in little health food stores and had to relearn everything I knew about baking and generally content myself with lunches of rice and peas and apples because that was all that was on the buffet menu that I could eat.
Ten years ago, churches which offered gluten free wafers were one in a thousand. As a college student looking to go to seminary and visiting different churches, I regularly had to fast from communion. Churches were not prepared to offer a different kind of bread, people were used to dipping bread in the common cup, I was unable to take communion. At first, even in my home parish, where both my mom and I needed gluten free wafers, they refused to offer them. Even when they did start offering them, receiving gluten free communion was iffy. Sometimes the priest forgot and mixed the gluten free wafers in with the regular wafers.
I have cried at the altar rail because I couldn't take communion. I have cried at the altar rail because someone remembered some rice crackers in the parish hall kitchen and ran to get them, bless them and gave one to me. Countless times I have lowered my head and raised my arms for a blessing, knowing that this was not a fast I chose, but it is one that I need. Even still today, despite being a priest, I find myself in situations where I am unable to take communion with my peers because no one brought a gluten free option and someone already stuck their bread in the wine. I have even served others communion while not being able to receive it, feeling confused and separated and forgotten.
The experience of not being able to take communion changes your understanding and your theology. Eucharist, communion, is not the only way for personal experiences of being in relationship with God. Communion is not the only way in which Christians are in community. It has definitely become a central part of the Episcopal way, but as we emphasize Communion, we forget so many other aspects of our relationship with God.
As the Episcopal Church grapples with the unintentional fast from Eucharist during the Coronavirus Pandemic, I offer my experience as simply a way to say there is more to our theology and our relationship with Jesus than through Communion. Yes, for many, this has been the vehicle for the last forty years. Perhaps this is a particularly good time for a fast then, so we can learn its true power and place in our theology. So that our understanding can be broadened to include the many other ways in which we are in personal and deep relationship with the Holy Trinity. So we can relearn what it really means to be the Church of God on earth.
Jesus never called Christians to a comfortable easy journey. Sometimes on the walk with Jesus, we have to give up things we really love in order to make way for God's will. I'm not saying God doesn't want us to not have Communion or that the Coronavirus is God's will. However, God can use any circumstances to help us grow and learn. Jesus walks with us through every situation, and as we walk through this fast from Communion, Jesus is walking with us too. Teaching us and opening our eyes, just as he did for the disciples on the road to Emmaus.
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